You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
