so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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