Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
"it" just moved
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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