plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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