Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
