bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
