ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize