Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
