Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
