you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
