just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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