Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
