I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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