Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
