Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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