And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
