this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
