does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
