That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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