Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
