youre lurking in front of me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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