I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
im holly from the hills drunk
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
