Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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