You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Randomize
