Dude my mom stole all your condoms
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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