My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
