are you still at the devil's house?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't deserve a penis
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
