halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
