Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
