The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize