i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
