Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Randomize
