somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize