i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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