also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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