Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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