When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
