I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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