You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
