Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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