took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
