I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
