i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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