The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
