If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
