You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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