I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
