So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize