That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Please, let me fuck your mom
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
