so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
