Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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