Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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