grandma shit on top of the toilet
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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