I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I look better un-naked...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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