At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
