Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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