Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
