too bad you live with your parents still
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
