i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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