Betty ford says i'm here all night
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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