In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
