just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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