Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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