Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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