I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize