tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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