carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
