Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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