and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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