i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
