dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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